This one night...at dinner...

"It was like skinny dipping only I was wearing all my clothes and sitting at a table"--Lauren about someone's spit-take

"Guys, when did I get tuberculosis?"--Lauren

"Half Baked Jeremy--did he get his Liz Claybourne hat back?"--Jack

"I don't think I normally go out and get a butt tan--I don't think my butt has ever seen the light of day."--Thomas

"I don't ever speak up in senate because everyone is like 'I'm a moron!  Listen to me!'"--Thomas

"My new rule for sex offenders is 3 strikes and it's off--mandatory castration for offenders."--Lauren