"I cut off the bottoms so I could sew up the butt."--Nicole
"If jello didn't exist, I wouldn't know the meaning of life."--Jeremy L.
"Ha Ha! Man whore!"--Jack to Eric
"This is for everyone who has had a bad day and everything has gone like poop."--Jon
"Me saying 'shit' has nothing to do with whether or not I'm a christian."--Seth
"I missed him so bad, I could have peed out my eyes...I have NO idea what that means."--Lauryn
"their perfect little...prep and...jock...and puke...and...lots of bad words!"--Lauryn
"Jesus had many miracles. One was to fee the 5,000. Another was to feed me!"--Thomas
"I like to flirt with the professors...in a non girl-boy way."--Dan
"I'm anal as well--I do laundry when I run out of underwear."--Mandy
"Guys are dumb. You would have thought I'd learned by now--I've liked enough of them."--Heather
"Okay back to me driving on the left side of the road and murdering Ryan."--Dr. Boyd
"I think it's funny how people go into missions to escape sex."--Ash
"I'm converting to bi-polarism. Does anyone care if I fart?"--Dan
"Life is like a block of cheese. It gets better with age, only eventually it gets crusty and moldy."--Jeremy L.
"I wonder what boredom would look like if you peed it?"--Lauryn
"I'm gonna help girls by seducing them, then leaving them."--Matt S.
"I don't WANT to be in the quote book!"--Dan S.
"Brad is like one of the funniest guys ever--have you ever felt one of his boobs?"--Eric
"You know you big boobs when your cup size fits your head like a swimming cap."--Cassie
"I'll tell you something--my underwear is not plastic."--Eric
"I hate driving in dresses."--Jeff
"After that, Mary would have a few more lambs than we wanted."--Meg C.
"What's so funny?"
"Apparently not me."--Jeremy L.
"I do boyfriends--I mean, I don't DO boyfriends"--Eric O.
"He's just having too much fun with himself."--Tova
"Too bad I'm married and he's a male whore."--Andi
"When the lights aren't running, testosterone runs this campus."--Michael S.
"I've lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he's gone into this cheap hotel room."--Keppy (trying to find the worst pick-up line ever)
"You don't populate the world with it and call it 'junk'"--Seth
"It's a christian college--All the guys are Chauvinists."--Dave B.
"I would half of my intelligence for retractable claws."--Jeremy K.
"We live life forward, but understand it backward."--Dr. Martin
"Yeah, not getting any where can be a problem. I have that problem with women."--Jeremy L.
"I like to use boys--they're squishy!"--Emily
"All girls are hootches in their own way."--Erica R.
"Soap gives me the runs."--Thomas
"I'm happy 'cause I'm a dirty dirty boy."--Mandi
"How am I ever going to get a husband if I keep making farting noises at the table?"--Mandi
"Brad has a dress in his closet--Don't ask me how I know that."--Ryan W.
"Bury the opossum? THERE'S A DEAD OPOSSUM IN MY CAR!?!"--Jeremy K.
"I'm a lazy bum"--Brad
"Not just his bum--all of him is lazy"--Emily
"I know I shouldn't think up ways to torture boys, but it's so fun."--Mandi
"Sam, can I borrow your thing that speeds up atoms and explodes cats?"--Nicole (she'd forgotten the word 'microwave')
"Don't confuse love with rabies."--Seth
"If I made sense, I'd invest it and make dollars."--Josh
"All I've been doing is writing speeches and writing in scripture notebooks."--Clint
"Me too, poopyhead."--Mandi
"I worship Captain Hair and so should you!" --Brad (about Perry)
