"I'm not a pessimist. I'm an optimist about failure!"--Ash
"It's almost like being naked, only more aerodynamic."--Jess (about wearing a speedsuit)
"I'm high on Greenville!"--Ash
"God must have a sense of humor 'cause he created bowel movements. You learn that when you have community bathrooms."--Ash
"I have hair in all the wrong places."--Seth
"If God makes boobs, then I think every man wants to be God."--Becky
"I think I'm riding in a car with a bunch of bi-polar women."--Jack
"I can't help it if I'm romantically involved with a plastic disk"--Jake (about his frisbee)
"Eric, do you want to know what it feels like to be a woman?"--Jack
"Rat boy? It seems we have an infestation of vermin at Greenville"--Jesse
"The time is right to make new friends."--Dawn's fortune cookie
"Do you want to play rabies tag?"--Thomas
"I wonder how much of what we eat turns in to hair?"--Eric
"I think somebody snuck into my head...."--Dan
"Love is like Laxative chocolate--sweet and poopy all at the same time."--Jess
"You don't need your armpits to sing anyway."--Beth
"The key to dating is not shooting yourself in the foot too quickly."--Eric
"Go away all you cursed vixens of God!"--Eric
"Stop using sex to control me!"--Jack (jokingly) to Seth
"My a** will not cause anyone to stumble....well, maybe if they tripped over it..."--Lauryn
"Some of you will be wenches--I can see it already."--Doc (about the madrigal)
"Rock stars get sashes? I'll major in rock star!"--Stacey (about Jars of Clay receiving honorary degrees)
"I've got a frohawk--it has the consistency of an afro, but the cut of a mohawk."--Dan
"I'm getting gayer every day."--Dan
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