"It's okay, baby. I've got protection."--Jess referring to her mouth guard
"Our goal is to create the most 'exceptional' children in the world."--Justin
"If I had to make love to a spoon, this is the spoon it would be."--Justin
"If they were goldfish that LOOKED like elephants..."--Jack (about wanting an elephant for a pet in the dorms)
"Ski mask toaster bit you!"--Jess
"I am convinced the devil is a French man"--Jeremy L.
"Joe, are you drunk?"
"Whatever makes you look better."--Joe L.
"I looked like I was peeing on Eric Moss for 10 minutes"--Jess
"Greenville rolls up it's sidewalk at 6 O'Clock."--Dan
"You're not anal retentive, hon. Your butthole is so loose."--Amelia to Justin
"Back rubs and the opposite sex are like hot tubs and beer. They should NOT go together--it doubles the reaction."--Andy S.
"If you were in a horror movie, you'd be eaten."--Lauren to Jeff
"I don't ever want to have sex. I just want to eat meat."--Lauren
"I will picture Eric as an ugly woman in a trash red dress with a fro and stuff stuck in it. He's also got to have blue eyeshadow, dollar store lipstick and big saggy boobs"--Jess
"with a kid hanging from each one."--Amelia
"Would everyone who's circumcised move to this side of the room, and everyone who's uncircumcised move to that side of the room. Norm Hall will come around to take pictures."--Amelia
"You shouldn't wear a speedo in the hot tub anyway."--Brandon H.
"It wasn't supposed to look like a severed head."--Wendi
"If someone steals my clothes, I'll probably talk to them too."--Josh A.
"Jack did someone put a razor blade in your glass again?"--Jess
"Wow! I think it's weird that you only have 3 nipples"--Jeremy L.
"If you spell of um backwards, it's mo fo."--Thomas
"Jesus is a phallic symbol."--Eric
"There's stuff all over the floor and I don't seem to care."--Jack pretending to be Eric
"All you have to do is pull out the Krammit."--Thomas
"Well, I have to urinate like a billygoat."--Thomas
"I have to go to Rum flavoring anonymous."--Ash
"When we all get older, we should all live in the same restroom together."--Amber (meaning rest home).
"Jesus actually had a fro--he was homeboy Jesus."--Justin
"What Christians have to realize is that there are breasts in the world and some of them are naked."--Dr. Boyd
"You've been tag-teamed by two flaming caterpillars."--Jess
"Ugliness is the unforgivable sin."--Mandi
"Beware the ether bunny"--Jeremy L.
"I would not want Michael Jackson in my wallet."--Thomas
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