" I am trying to start a rumor. Shut up."--Keppy
"I think viewing one case of genital warts would cure you of any libido you might have for the rest of your life."--Lauryn
We are all the body of Christ. Somebody's gotta be the asshole."--Robert
"Screwing is not good, especially from Professor Marsch."--Thomas
"I want to have your puppies."--Seth
"You can't say Lauryn's last name--it's against the lifestyle statement."--Rob
"Selch sounds like a German swear word."--Lauryn
"I'm like Farmer Barbie! What the heck!"--Emily
"If I knew someone with their jaw wired shut, I'd make fun of them too."--Ryan
"They should have an interterm class on body percussion."--Jack
"Yeah, they should call it 'how to play with yourself.'"--Seth
"It's funny how nowadays people associate actress and actor with bitch and bastard."--Jeremy K.
"Was that before or after he got humped in the union?"--Beth
"What's her name?"--??
"Liar girl."--Thomas
"No, her real name."--?
"That is her real name. She just disguised it with another."--Thomas
"God is not a piece of chicken."--Rob
"It's symbolism. Whoever pees in the middle (stall) is like Christ. I'm usually the Christ figure."--Jess
"It's sex or nothing."--Beth
"Dude, you can see his buns"--Thomas upon watching Matt S. in a cheeseburger costume.
"Women? Where we're going, we don't need women!"--Joe
"The inflatable roommate would be really quiet and if you get ticked at him, you can punch him and watch him blow up."--Em
"Like me, only bouncy!"--Jack
"He deserves to look masculine, he just can't do it."--Dan
"A 1-piece jigsaw puzzle girl would be like you say hello to her and she jumps on top of you, and I haven't met a girl like that yet."--Eric
"Eric, you haven't said hello to me yet."--Amber
"Have you ever wondered how many rodents have crawled into J.J's hair and died?"--Trisha
"That was really well done--stupid movie."--Dan
"If you rebel against everything, you stand for nothing."--Emily H.
"The thing that you dislike about someone else is the thing you hate most about yourself."--Eric
"My problem is all the girls I've liked have turned anti-me."--Jeff
"The explanation for the breakdown in communication is as simple as this: A woman wanted to have ESP, and he thought she said ESPN."--Emily (paraphrasing Jeff)
"If you wet yourself, I might just have to take that as a compliment."--Lauryn
"I think we should petition to call the new building 'Norm Hall Hall'"--Eric
"Jack, then you will get your hand stuck in a tampon machine."--Cassie
"Chai is sex for the mouth"--Josh
"I'm actually honored that he thinks I would blow up the school for something as stupid as him."--Jack
"I thought of becoming homosexual so girls would like me."--Dan
"Is there a peeing section in the pool?"--Eric
"Don't turn the lights off! Everyone will have sex!"--Lauryn
"Jesus wore depends, or at least the ancient day equivalent of."--Michael S.
"Every good movie should have frogs, crack, and a random naked guy."--Jeff
"I just let the funk envelop me."--Thomas
